Nat Locke: let’s salute retail workers, delivery drivers, hospitality staff and all the other festive MVPs

As we career towards Christmas with all of the control of me riding a bike after a couple of glasses of rosé, can we spare a thought for the real heroes of the season? Sure, the festive season is stressful. There is a lot of expectation and pressure on us to cook, feed, decorate, buy presents, wrap presents, stuff stockings, catch up with friends, use the word “yule” in sentences, and also, importantly, act cheerful. It’s a lot. And sometimes, it makes us act in ways we’re not that proud of. Hang out in a major shopping centre’s carpark for more than 10 minutes, and you’ll know what I mean. So how about we take a few moments to hand out some bouquets to the real MVPs of the festive season? First, the retail workers who have been sporting their Christmas-themed earrings and slightly too tight antlers since mid-November. They’ve had to endure continuous saccharine-sweet Christmas carols on a loop — and on top of that, customers. Customers who can’t find what they want. Customers who don’t KNOW what they want. Customers who have been given a vague idea of what a loved one wants, but don’t actually know the specifics. Customers who are trying to return the wrong thing they bought because “I thought that was what you wanted, Tiffany”. You know the ones. And these incredible workers do it all with a smile, even if sometimes it’s a grimace. They are on their feet all day. They answer the same questions over and over. They explain the returns policy over and over. And when Christmas is finally done, they have to gird their loins for the Boxing Day sales. Pray for them. Next, the delivery drivers. Confession time: I buy a lot of things online. And that means I get a lot of deliveries. Delivery drivers get a bad rap for delivering to the wrong address, or not being gentle enough with fragile items, or knocking so quietly we don’t hear them. But all the delivery workers I’ve spoken to in recent weeks — and there have been quite a few — are absolutely exhausted and doing their best. They are delivering hundreds of parcels a day (and that’s just to me — boom tish!) in the heat and traffic. Without them, the queues at the post office would be unbearable. While we’re at it, send some love towards the Australian Post workers too. They have been patiently explaining the best postage options to get presents to their destination in time for Christmas ad nauseam. And then they have to endure the agony of watching me frantically flick through my emails to find the barcode required to collect that parcel the poor delivery guy couldn’t deliver because I chose the wrong moment to duck down to the shops. They are saints. They hardly roll their eyes at all. And what about the hospo workers? The silly season is great fun — there’s drinks with the girls, and dinner with book club, and drinks with the dog park people, and brunch with the work crew and, in some cases, a slap-up Christmas lunch at a restaurant. The only reason all this is possible is because there are hospitality workers willing to work at a time when the rest of us are celebrating. Sure, you can argue they are paid well, but still. Would you want to spend your Christmas Day serving a bunch of strangers so they don’t have to do the dishes? No, me neither. Let’s not forget the health workers. They know the true meaning of the silly season, because they see the net results. They give up time with their families over the Christmas break so they can look after us when we fall off newly gifted scooters and skateboards. They front up every day so sick kids can continue their treatment and Nanna can be looked after if she takes a tumble. And it’s not just the nurses and doctors. What about the cleaners and kitchen staff and patient care assistants? In fact, it’s worth pausing to think about everyone who has to work when the rest of us are gorging on plum pudding and lobster (not necessarily in that order, but who am I to judge?). Whether it’s the person at the petrol station who lets you fill your tank so you can drive to Aunt Judy’s in Mandurah, or the checkout operator at the 24/7 supermarket you dashed to when you realised you didn’t have any toilet paper or cranberry sauce on Christmas morning, or the emergency workers, train drivers, Uber drivers, airport workers and flight attendants. The world keeps turning, even on Christmas Day, and if you’re one of the legends who’ll be keeping it going, I salute you. Merry Christmas, one and all!